Well, unlike most of the cable TV viewing public, I chose to watch the best drama on TV live last Sunday (that would be Breaking Bad) and catch the MTV Video Music Awards on one of its countless repeats…which conveniently started about five seconds after the VMA’s ended!
Here’s what I took away from this controversial (purely for the sake of being controversial) telecast…
Let’s start with the hypocrisy of MTV still televising anything called “Video Music Awards” since they no longer air videos and seem to be too preoccupied with teen moms, catfishers and other forms of ridiculousness to even cover music, let alone award any. Their name doesn’t even stand for “Music TeleVision” anymore…it’s just three arbitrary letters now.
The most sexy and attractive female on the entire telecast was the one who tried the LEAST: Katy Perry. Her performance was well done, the song, “Roar”, is thoroughly catchy, and she was just so damn cute in that boxer get-up. No “twerking”. No Gene Simmons-like snake-tongue lashing out. No sea shells stuck to her tits. No progressively skimpier and skimpier costume changes. Brava, Katy.
Miley…Miley…Miley…enough has been written about you on the interwebs, so I’ll just say this: you can be sexy without being slutty. Look at Katy. Look, even, at GaGa. Unless you actually want to be the featured act at Rick’s Cabaret, in which case you’re about a “twerk” or two away.
There’s a reason (besides a trumped up award) Justin TImberlake got to perform for 15 minutes of a 90 minute show: he is the best pop performer and showman we have today. He is classy, self-deprecating, and most of all, talented. Timberlake owned those 15 minutes, and did not disappoint, using every inch of the arena (even the entrance and the escalators) flawlessly. The bone he threw *NSYNC was nice enough, and long enough – I’m not sure they could have gotten through much else after “Bye (huff) Bye (puff) Bye (wheeze)”. Joey Fatone and Chris Kirkpatrick are probably still taking a knee as you read this. But there’s a reason JT is still viable and bankable and they’re not (see above). (Also…nice use of “zaftig” dancers. Hopefully starts a trend.)
Lady GaGa actually got booed at the very beginning of her show kick-off performance. That was rude. She actually gave a great performance of an OK song. Just like Madonna used to do back in the day. I’ll say one thing for GaGa, she’s never looked better. That’s the way to show off your body, Miley.
Honestly, no one else mattered much. Bruno Mars was Bruno Mars (charming, workmanlike)…Macklemore & Ryan Lewis proved once again why they’re currently at the top of the Pop-Rap game (until Eminem returns anyway…did you catch that Beats commercial, or the entire “Berzerk” track on YouTube? Whoa…he’s hungry again)…Kanye phoned it in…Drake had more charm offstage than on (and his second-rate music isn’t helping him)…and Robin Thicke was upstaged by you-know-who. Nope, the night belonged to Justin Timberlake, and he wasn’t letting anyone take it back.